We look at a change from individual perspectives: a trader is different from a doctor, an actor – from an entrepreneur. Personally, I moved countries, changed jobs and professions, and became passionate about a variety of subjects ranging from performing arts to management consulting. However, a similar feeling emerged through all those experiences.
It starts at the point when something changes and that directly affects our vision of the future.
We may have worked hard for that future or simply rejoiced thinking about it. But now it has changed. We can’t have it anymore. And that’s a painful loss.
So how can we best manage such situation?
First, step back and keep your head up. It’s natural to feel disoriented by change, but we need to see the full picture of what’s going on. What exactly has happened? Who is involved, how and why? What is at stake? Which options do we have? Answering these questions also buys us time, often preventing disastrous first reactions that we regret later.
Second, accept that you cannot “undo” change. Ignoring the change or resisting it can give us a temporary relief but will not transform the reality. We do not need to agree with the change, but we have to accept that it’s happened. It exists. Drawing that line is our starting point moving towards a different future.
Third, pause and bring the focus inside. It’s tempting to search for a “magical” recipe to cope with multiple issues triggered by change: money, reputation, health, control, self-esteem. Instead of becoming drowned in the external advice, we should use our values as the North Star for managing life changes. Our future must be aligned with who we are and what we believe in.
Finally, lean on your support team. We are not in it alone.Our family and friends have not changed. Well, at least, not all of them. They are our safe base to release pain and to heal. So do not feel selfish to open up and ask for help. It’s not until later when we become ready to venture out, take risks and work hard for our new future.
At the end, let’s not forget that change is above all human…
With compliments to ex-change vlog guests John Gaudet, Lia Leveillé Mettral, Charles de Tourney and Swithun Still.